A few months from now I hope to read back on this post and see that I was right. That life is back to normal and things are easy to do normally again.
Right now I’m pregnant, in three months I won’t be, instead I’ll have a newborn.
This pregnancy is nothing like my first one, it is a walk in the park comparatively. At the same point last time I went on disability because the carpal tunnel syndrome had made it impossible for me to use my hands to work, or do anything for that matter. I wasn’t sleeping, I itched, I couldn’t breath, I could barley walk. This time I feel mostly great aside from a little lower back pain and the heaviness of the belly that makes doing everything more difficult and uncomfortable. And when I do try to lay on my back, even propped up on the couch it feels like Talia or Jordan siting on my abdomen, because I have gained exactly the amount of weight that each of them weighs.
I always knew I wanted to be pregnant more than once in my life, I couldn’t imagine never knowing how another pregnancy would be different. I was pretty sure I didn’t like being pregnant the first time, this time, I am completely sure of it. Not to say I wouldn’t do it again, I am a big fan of the outcome, but I am certainly not one of those women who loves being pregnant. I’ve been asked a few times if it feels different carrying one baby as oppose to two, and the answer is yes, very different. Kind of how bumping your shin or breaking your leg are very different. But the most fascinating difference of this pregnancy is the amount this baby moves. All day and all night every day, I can feel it high and low and see it most if the time. When I lay down it feels as though she’s going swimming, kicking her little legs as fast as she can. I was concerned because the movement seemed a bit erratic for a fetus so I asked my doctor about it. And she assured me that’s what babies do while growing, except when they don’t have enough room. The super quick movements is the babies startle reflex in action. The same one that makes them reach to the sky with a closed fist when laying down in the first few days after birth.
I know that the first two weeks after baby girl is born won’t be much fun. As with the twins I will have a c-section and recovery from this surgery is no walk in the park. I knew after the girls were born that this would be the case for any future births with my doctor. And although a part of me will always feel a little sad that I never got to experience natural child birth, with or without medication, I trust my doctor and her way of practicing and am ok with the plan as is. After the recovery period I am hoping that I quickly find my groove with three, and despite the busy schedule a newborn demands, try to enjoy the last two months of my maternity leave.