How I can help
I have a reader out there who also happens to be a neighbor and have twins. I’ve met her only once while on a walk with her family but she told me about a great baby night nurse that helped her and her husband get their newborns on a schedule. Since meeting her I’ve met half a dozen new moms and moms-to-be that have asked me for a night nurse recommendation. If you are my neighbor will you please comment with your night nurses info so I can pass it along! Thank you!
New moms and pregnant women are always asking me questions about my pregnancy and how I mange the day to day and specific issues of caring for babies and toddlers. Maybe having two makes me appear to be an automatic expert, maybe they like how they see my kids behaving, or maybe the candy coating I put on top of my answer to the question ‘what’s it like having two?’ makes others want to follow suit.
Being pregnant again with two little ones in tow has sparked many a conversation lately about finding a rhythm. I am a big believer in routine and rhythm. For us it has and continues to be the only way that my husband and I get the relaxation and sleep we need to be good parents. Every time we divert from the routine we pay for it in the form of an afternoon with no naps or an interrupted nights sleep.
Even with the bad that comes from a broken schedual, we still do it every now and then because life dosent always cooperate with schedules.
My wise older sister gave me a great way to think about schedule and routines, be flexible, like a rubber band. Have a routine, use it and stick to it, but be confident that if you stretch from the regular routine you can bounce right back into it or it may change slightly as your child grows.
There is so much info out there on what is the right or best way to care for your babies. Through my first experience with newborns I found the weekly emails sent to me by babycenter.com, whattoexpect.com and enfamil.com were very helpful. By registering on these sites I received emails with information relevant to the development of my girls on a weekly basis. As I sit in the doctors waiting room writing this I heard on the health tv of a text alert service with 3x weekly texts related to your babies developmental stage. I haven’t tried this service but it sounds super easy and plan to when baby #3 arrives. You can sign up easily by texting baby to 511411.
I also leaned heavily on my twin moms Facebook group for support and a large variety of ideas for coping and caring. One of the many things that nothing can prepare your for is the solitude of having a newborn. It is very challenging to get out and about with a newborn, often for a few months. As wonderful as it is the have the baby in your arms that you have waited so long for, it is a lot of work, around the clock, with not many extended stretches of sleep, little time to make hearty food and combine that with all the hormones the complete change in life from being about you to being completely about your baby can take a toll. It can feel lonley, frustrating, endless. Visitors helps but an hour or two fly by in a blink. When it seem like an impossible task remind yourself that this too shall pass, it will get easier. There will be new challenges but there will also be rewards, the first time your hear ‘mama’, when they learn to hug you back, when they finish the sentences in their favorite book.
There is no right way to parent, babies and children are flexible, you have to do what works for you. Listen to the advise and suggestions of those who have been down the road before you, try what you want, don’t be afraid to try something else, and remember that as babies grow their needs change, be open to the change. And google is always there to help!